The world is changing. This i know. I FEEL it all around me. And that makes for difficultly in cultivating and holding a space that is all my own. I am a long-time loner, and am completely content to wander and be alone in my thoughts....being a part of the world around me, but not and mover or shaker. I came to Asheville, NC the summer of 2011 with the hopes of exploding my art upon the already unique and wacky community...but came to find that the doors were not exactly open...maybe cracked, but definitely not ajar.
Nearly half a year later, and still I haven't found my artistic niche here in the mountains. What's my problem??
What I've realized is that I have to open the doors myself. But selling myself is not my forte. Actually, selling anything really isn't my forte. Which is funny, because I've only ever worked retail jobs up until now. I know that I don't want to waste my time working a mundane job; it totally stifles my ability to create, and creating is what I know I want to do.
Creating comes naturally. Getting my creations out to the world is my challenge.
Talking to my dad's wife, Randi, who is a contemporary experimental painter and also used to live in Asheville, I learned exactly what I already knew. An artist has to be able to conduct both the realms of solitude and publicity...There needs to be a balance of inward and outward, and I know I have a natural ability for both. I love interactions with people of all kinds; I am not afraid of social encounters, so long as they happen naturally and I don't feel forced to make the interaction occur. Which is the fear that comes up behind me when I think about putting my art out there. Why can't my art just magically appear in galleries all over town?!
I know that's not how it works. Obviously I need to take initiative and just GO ALL IN, but first I need to have a presentable array of work, a portfolio, business cards....As much as I want to be a free bird and go with my whim all the time, it's apparent that people who run galleries don't really have time for whim. They need to see a clean, organized, quality portfolio if they are even going to think about placing a new artist. How do I navigate that world? I never learned this in art school.
So what I've recently become aware of is that it's not a piece of cake to be self-employed.
It's hard work not working for the man!
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